Waiting
by CaskettFever94
Summary: A dark night, too many drinks...and Kate's done playing games.  Now rated M.
1. Chapter 1

It's dark; I guess you could describe it as dreary really. She can hear the rain pounding on the roof.

She's standing outside his door; she doesn't know how this will end, in tragedy most likely. They've played this cat and mouse game for too long, she the mouse and he the cat. All she wants is to feel whole again. She's normally not like this, she's been drinking. It's like the time with the PTSD; every corner she turns she feels as if someone is watching her, she rasps on his door.

"Coming," a way too cheery Castle calls.

She knows Martha is out somewhere, and almost grateful that Alexis is gone off to college now. Neither of them need to see her like this, she doesn't even want Castle seeing her like this.

He opens the door, and automatically smells the alcohol that's drowning out her usual fruity smell.

"Kate, what's wrong?" his cheery voice from before now a sullen monotone dripping with worry.

"Come inside." He moves out of her way and motions her through the door.

"Castle, I lied. I'm a filthy liar, and I know that you are going to hate me." She was now at the point of tears. She knew that Castle knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Kate, you lied about what?" He knew, and he was hurt, but he wanted to hear her say it.

"The day that I was shot….I heard…..I heard you tell me that you love me, and then I lied when you asked me. Twice." She had stopped crying and was looking him straight in the eyes now. "I lied because I didn't know if you said it for sure, and I didn't want to say it and then everything be ruined, because that's we work. I didn't want to lose you, but then I realized that you really did say it and it just scared me even further, but I'm done playing games, you need to know the truth."

"I don't know what to say, actually I believe that I've said all that I need to say Kate. This is your game now, you can either keep playing or shut me out, the decision is yours. You know where I stand."

Her body chose that exact moment to give out, the world around her darkened and he barely caught her before she hit the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Hey guys! I'm glad you all liked the first chapter.**

**So a few things, this story is set in what would be about season 5, and Alexis is off in college, It starts out really angsty, but I promise to get to the good stuff soon ;p I will probably be able to update a chapter a day, except on Sundays.**

**Also, I am addicted to reviews! So please let me know what you think. :D Good or bad. **

**All gramatical errors are mine. **

**Disclaimer: Castle is not mine! Darn -.-**

Rick sat down at his desk and ran a hand through his hair, today had been anything but ordinary.

Kate was softly sleeping in the guest bedroom upstairs, it truly seemed like time hated them. All of the missed opportunities, longing looks and interrupted moments; he had begun to wonder if they were ever going to get it together. She had looked as if she was going to says something important back to him, but like he said, time was not on their side. Her body had gave out and he had carried her upstairs laying her down, and kissing her cheek. He poured himself a scotch and decided to just write for a while, not particularly on the Nikki Heat series, but about anything and everything,

Four hours, and way too many thoughts, later, he walks out his study and figures that Kate should be waking up soon, and starts on some dinner. He's going to make sure that she has some real food in her before she drives or walks anywhere, and that they finish the conversation that she had started. He decided on something light that wouldn't upset her stomach and made grilled chicken salad, with light thousand island dressing.

The smell of food woke her from her sleep. She slowly opened her eyes and took in her surroundings, the deep red comforter over her, the dark cherry wood of the floor and the amours, the smell that surrounded her, the smell of him. She slowly thought back to last night and almost cried once more, but decided that she was done crying, it was time to face the music. That was the whole reason that she had came here right? She swung her feet over the edge of the bed a waited for the dizziness that the action had caused to pass, and went downstairs to see this glorious man cooking something that had her stomach growling, and mouth watering.

"You didn't have to carry me all the way upstairs Rick." she said with a somewhat small voice.

"Well good afternoon my dear sleepy detective. It was no problem, I wasn't about to subject you to my couch, or my floor. I'm nothing if not a gentleman." He smiled but she could tell that it didn't touch his eyes,

"I just made some chicken salad with thousand island dressing, I figured you would be ravaged when you woke up, sit down and I'll bring you some."

"Thanks Castle, is there anything that I can get, I mean I am the one who came and passed out in you're floor, I should be cooking for you."

"No I already got everything set up, and you're welcome here anytime you like Kate." He smiled and this time it did touch his eyes.

"Thanks Castle" She said as she turned and went to sit down at the table.

Castle brought over their food and scooped them each out a helping of food before sitting down,

"Mmmmmmm" Beckett hummed her approval as she scooped the first bite of food I her mouth.

Castle just smiled at her, and they ate in silence, a silence that they both knew lead to the talk of a lifetime, the talk the would change their lives forever.

**I know I'm evil, lol, I know it was short but we get to the good stuff soon. :)**

**Don't forget to hit the little review button at the bottom! They make me write faster! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Ya'll are in luck, I got time to sit down and write a little more, it is short though, but hey...it's something! :P**

**Please enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. Darn -.-**

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><p>The sky outside had started to darken and the rain had stopped, the air was thick. Ecspecially inside Richard Castle's loft.<p>

"Kate..." he started. walking back to the living room from cleaning up the kitchen.

"Yeah Castle?"

"About earlier...do you remember?"

"Yeah, I know you must think something awful of me, I can't believe myself. I should've just told you."

"I can't argue with you there, and before you ask; yes I was...am...mad, but not enough to kick you out of my life forever, I couldn't do that if I tried. I had time to cool off and get my mind off things while you were upstairs, but I understand where you came from, and I forgive you Kate." He said looking her straight in the eyes with nothing but what could be described as pure love, honest to God, unmasked, real, true love.

"Now, back to what I told you last night; Kate, the ball is in your court now, stay or leave. It's your decision, you know mine."

She went to speak, but no words came out, she looked him in the eyes and before she could even think about what she was saying, it all just came pouring out of her mouth like a river of truth.

"I want to tell you where I stand, but i'm just so stupid afraid that if I do, that it will turn out like everything else i've ever been close to in my life; gone. All of it, and i don't want it to be gone, because I love the coffee's in the morning, I love your crazy CIA, and Alien theories, I love the way that you can take the simplest things and turn them into this beautiful journey that no one could ever of dreamed of in a thousand years, I love how you get just a little too cocky when you're right about a case, I love the fatherly side in you, and how much you care about your mother, I just..." she trailed off getting lost in his eyes, God how she wanted to say the last thing she loved.

He could see what she wasn't saying in her eyes, and all the passion behind it.

"Kate, you'll never lose me by choice, if I have anything to say about it, I'll be by your side as long as you want, forever; if we go by my choice."

They smiled at each other for who knows how long, just lost in each other, and lost in their thoughts.

Kate was relieved that she finally had gotten all of that off of her chest. She couldn't believe how amazing this man that sat before her was.

Rick was happy, ecstatic even to have finally plunged a whole step forward, instead of their usual baby step forward, two monster steps back. He was debating though, because Kate wasn't the only one who had been hiding a secret. He knew what he had to do, he would show her. Not tell her. If they we're going to go any further in this relationship, he had to be honest too.

"Kate, you're not the only one that was keeping secrets..."

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><p><strong>Don't hate me! No death threats please ;P but, I love cliffhangers, well cliffhangers that get solved quickly, not cliffhangers like shooting a main character and leaving you in pieces for 3 months :P Hmmm, now who do we know that would do that? ;)<strong>

**I pinky promise chapters will start getting longer in the future!**

**Please Review! They make me happy, and, they make me write faster! :D **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Here we go. The 4th chapter of waiting! I hope this helps on our Castleless night! But i do watch the Bachelor too! But three hours! That's ridiculous! lol Enjoy! :p**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle! Darn -.-**

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><p>Sitting on his couch, everything was about to change, the room was dark, hard to see his face, but his voice portayed it all.<p>

"What do you mean Rick?' she asked with a hint of disbelief in her eyes.

"I'd rather show you, not just tel you; but you have to promise that you wont run, but wait until i explain." She could hear the pleading in his voice, and nodded her head in agreement.

He grabbed her by the hand and took her to his study, he was incredibly nervous, but he figured that if he could get Kate to see his side of the story and know all that he knows that he may have a slim chance of getting her to not overflow with complete rage.

Kate had no idea what was going on. What kind of secret could he possibly have? Thousands of possibilities ran through her mind, but none of them making to much sense. He had lead her to his office and was now pointing at a small touch screen attached to the wall behind his desk.

"Go touch the screen Kate."

"The screen's not going to like shock me or anything is it?" She meekly laughed trying to put a little humor into the seriousness.

He smiled but just said "No, the screen won't, whats on it might."

Kate gently walked over and touched the corner of the screen, and found herself staring back at her.

"You have a picture of me on your touch screen? Kinda creepy, but Rick, I don't see how that's a secret." She said with confusion all over her face.

He then reach around and grabbed a small remote and handed it to her and told her to push the power on button. She done as he said, and was breathless with what she seen appear on the screen. The picture of her mother, and Captain Montgomery, the little spiderweb lines connecting everything, she was breathless...and she was mad. Her subconsious told her to run and scream, but her new mind noted that she had promised not to do that very thing.

"Castle, why? What is all of this? You've been...? This whole time, and...? Explain please..." She said with hurt, confusion, and betrayal, all of her emotions, shining behind the tears that had welled up in her eyes.

He walked over to the couch in his study and sat down, she done the same but sat farther away than she normally would.

"That day that we interviewed the autopart worker at Helstad, I got a phone call from a guy who had recieved a package from Montgomery. He said that I had to keep you away from your mother case or it would get you killed. He said that this person, whoever it is that's calling the shots, had dozens of people like Lockwood out there looking for you, waiting for you to make a wrong move. He said that Montgomery had sent him this information because he knew that they could catch this guy, but in time. he told me that I needed to get you to back down, get their minds off of you for a while, let them think that they had you scared from your...shooting" It still pained him to say it, or to even think about that day. "So, I weasled my way into your mind, and yes I know you hate that, but it was all I could do to keep you safe. What would you have done if the roles were reversed? I watched the life go out of you in that ambulance Kate..." He said scooting over and taking her hand, "and I couldn't stand to see that again. Please tell me that you understand. I can't lose you." he was now in tears as he stared at Kate's face, her eyes overflowing as well. He watched as she slowly read his face seeing all the sincerity there.

Kate's mind was reeling. She was mad, angry, tore up, and so unbeliavably in love with him all at once. She wanted to yell, she wanted to scream, maybe even hit him a time or two. Mostly though she wanted to just kiss him, because she knows she would have done the same if it were her. She stared at him and she couldn't hold it in anymore, she couldn't be mad, whe couldn't walk away. Not after all of this, so, she wiped the tears off of her face and looked him straight in the eye as the next words fell effortlessly from her mouth.

"I love you"

He stared, stuck in a shocked state, that was not what he was expecting her to say. This woman was incredible in every way the term could be interpreted.

She took in his shocked face and figured she could continue. "Yeah I'm mad, and i wish that you wouldn't have hid informatin from me about her murder" she paused for a beat or two gathering her thoughts. "But I understand why you did it."

He seen that she meant what she said, and all the truth and love that was behind her words.

"I love you too Kate."

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><p><strong>I didn't make it a cliffhanger this time!<strong>

**Review, Review, Review! They make me smile, type faster and do a little happy dance! :p**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry I haven't published in a while you guys! My Uncle has been in the hospital all week and has to have open heart surgery, and we've been with him. Plus i lost my jumpdrive and had to re write the whole chapter over again. So I'll shutup and leave you all to it!**

**Disclaimer: Castle is not mine. Darn -.-**

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><p>Outside the storm had started backup, thunder rolling, lightning lighting up the room.<p>

Two hours.

Two hours had passed since they had said those three words, three words that meant everything. Neither of them had moved, no big kiss, no intense make out session, they had just stared into each other's eyes, not needing words. Eventually though Kate's stomach had growled and that had broke the tension. Castle had laughed and Kate had blushed because they had just eaten not even 2 hours ago an here she was starving again. Castle had just smiled and ordered a pizza. The pizza guy had given them a weird look, after all they were ordering pizza at 11:30p.m, and had left with a wad of cash that Castle had just thrown at him.

It was now almost one o'clock and the question of whether she was going to stay the night or not; was out, mostly due to the fact that she was already fast asleep on his arm. He smoothly picked her up and carried her to his bedroom. He didn't know if she would be mad when she woke up or not, but he didn't care at the moment, he just wanted to be near her, be able to hold her. He carefully laid her down and then changed into his comfy pj's. He slowly crawled into the other side of the bed, and wrapped his arm around her and she instinctively scooted back into him. He kissed the back of her hair, closed his eyes and drifted off with a smile on his face.

Kate opened her eyes and almost jumped backwards out of the bed, Rick was staring at her, just smiling. Love written all over his features. The events of yesterday came rushing back to her, and she couldn't help herself when she leaned over and gave him a good morning kiss.

"I could get very use to waking up like that," she said smiling like teenager after her first kiss.

"Me too" He just kept on staring at her; he was still in shock of everything that had happened in the past 24 hours.

"So, would you care to explain how I wound up in your bed?" She smirked.

"Well, my back was hurting, and I didn't want to carry you far." She knew he was lying through his teeth, from the knowing smile on his face.

"Oh, so you didn't want me in your bed, you just threw me here because you were tired?" She smirked, knowing she had won this battle.

He laughed, but then his eyes turned serious and he just took her hand and looked deep into her eyes.

"You are welcome in my bed whenever you please, all I've dreamed of for years is you in this bed. At first, it was just a 'I want you for a night' kinda thing, but then after I followed you for four years, I slowly fell in love with you. Once I was in love with you, I wanted you in bed physically still yes, but I wanted you because, I wanted you to be the first face that I see in the morning, wake up to the feel of your back against my chest. Wake up to you as my wife someday, with bare feet running in the hall. I just want you."

Kate had tears streaming down her face. "I want that too Rick."

They kissed, and it slowly started to get more passionate. She wanted to go farther, but, neither wanted to push it. So they slowly pulled back and just smiled at each other.

"How about we get ready, and we'll go somewhere. Let me treat you to a proper first date" He smiled like a nine year old asking for a lollipop.

"Hmmmmmm, let me think about it" she said teasing him. "Of course I want to go."

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><p><strong>I left it on a sweet note. :) <strong>

**So I have a challenge for you guys, I seen another writer do this and thought that it was a good idea for getting to know your readers better.**

**Answer these questions pwease!**

**1. How old do you think i am?**

**2. Do you think i'm a girl or boy?**

**3. Do you guys think i should go M next chapter, or wait?**

**4. You should go check out my Facebook page titled Caskett Fever? :)**

**Ok, so that last one wasn't a question, it was just me promoting my page lol, but seriously you should check it out. I keep castle spoilers, updates, and promos up to date! Speaking of promos, did ya'll see the one for next week? My shipper heart busted, along with my brain, and I lost all hope of breathing.**

**So anyways please answer these questions. Or just drop a review! Even if it's just a smiley face. :D - Like this one shown here :p just kidding!**

**Aight so, see ya'll soon!**


	6. Chapter 6

**The answers were Girl and 17, and thanks for the others!**

**Next, I want to answer merry-merry-me's review! That was very helpful! Oh and btw, I kinda did a little happy dance because I am addicted to your stories! I can't believe you're reading this fic! I tried to be more descriptive and I took my time instead of rushing with this chapter! Thank you for your helpful review! **

**Finally, I apologize for the wait. Chapters will start coming faster! I love you guys! Please Review Review Review! I really want to know what you think!**

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><p>Kate Beckett did NOT get butterflies….until it came down to Richard Castle. Then, she was all butterflies.<p>

Kate stepped out of her shower thinking about that morning, making breakfast together, washing dishes together, the epitome of domestic; the way that he had kissed her goodbye as she headed home to get ready for their date. She couldn't help but smile like a teenager in love as she dried and curled her hair. She kind of felt ridiculous, she had known Castle for four years now, they had went out and ate together tons of times….but never as a real date. She was nervous, she was goofy, crazy, completely punch drunk nervous.

She was now standing in her closet, she had already narrowed her selection down to two dresses now she was standing there debating, _Should I wear the classy little black dress….or should I go with the sexy, emerald green, backless?_ Rick had told her to wear something dressy, but nothing more. She decided to go with the little black dress. It was a Ruffle Charmeuse Sweetheart Knee Length Little Black Dress. It had upside down triangle shaped wide straps, and came to right below her knee, with a diamond encrusted barrette on the left side of her torso where it gathered. She had this gorgeous silver necklace that held a tiny black heart with silver trimmings, and earrings to match. She slipped on the dress and walked to the vanity in her bathroom trying to decide what to do with her hair, she was going to just leave it down when she remembered the hair pin that had been her mothers, It was Silver with black onyx encrusted all around the edges, she decided to wear it, it would feel almost as if her mother was there with her so she decided to pull her hair up with a few curls hanging around her face. She looked absolutely stunning. She put all the necessary items in her little black clutch and waited, but before she even got all the way to her kitchen barstool, the doorbell rang. She checked herself in the mirror and went to open the door.

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><p>Rick had just stepped out of the shower, loving this mood that he was in, he had never thought that this day would come. He was completely ecstatic. He had made reservations the moment that he had kissed her goodbye (Oh how he loved that he could do that now) and had closed the door behind her. His friend Johnny owned this little five star restaurant that served the most amazing Italian food that he had ever eaten. So as soon as he heard the elevator ding, he'd called, and got them the "special" table in the back.<p>

He had just finished gelling his hair, and doing his own rendition of I'm Sexy and I Know it, when he glanced over to his open bathroom door and found his daughter videotaping him, while trying to stifle her laughter.

"ALEXIS! WHEN DID YOU GET HOME? How long have you been standing there?" He said with a horror struck face.

"I got in about an hour ago and Oh, I don't know, long enough." She said with that signature Castle family "cat that just ate the canary" look that all three of them had perfected.

"You better delete that!" he said stalking towards her with a hair brush in his hand.

"Or what? You gonna brush me to death? Ohh Scaaary Dad. Very scary." She said feigning fear.

"I will brush you to death! You should be very scared! I'll give you spit ends and frizzy hair!"

"I don't care, I'm not going anywhere tonight…but apparently someone has a date tonight."

"I sure do pumpkin! It's Kate." He said giving her a huge bear hug, God how he'd missed her!

"Oh, that's great Dad!" She tried to seem excited for him, but he could see right through her charade.

"Something wrong, I thought you liked Kate?"

"I do, but.. I don't want you to get hurt. She's always running, you even said so yourself. I don't want you come out loser at the end of this."

"Come sit down pumpkin" Him and Alexis walked over to his bed and sat down.

"Me, and Kate talked about everything last night she stayed here, but not like 'stayed here' I told her about the murder board for her Mom, and she told me that she did remember the fact that I told her I loved her. It was a very interesting night, she told me she loved me though." He smiled at the memory, he could still hear them ringing in his head.

"Really Dad? That's….wow. I never pictured Kate coming clean like that, maybe she is changing. I know you love her, and it's been obvious for a while now that she loves you too. I was just worried how it would all play out because I know that she keeps her heart under lock and key. I'm happy for you Dad." This time a genuine smile crossed her face, and she leaned over and gave him a huge hug.

"I think that I'll call her though and tell her we have to reschedule cause' my favorite little redhead has ventured home early." He started to pull out his phone and dial Kate.

"Actually dad, I promised some friends that I would visit them tonight. We have the rest of the weekend, tomorrow you're all mine, and I'm all yours. Now Mr. Sexy and I know It, finish getting ready and go get your girl." She smiled shoving him off the said of the bed.

"Thanks Pumpkin, you have a good night. You'll always be my little girl. I love you" He said and kissed her on the head.

"Yeah I know. I love you too Dad." She then left and headed out to meet her friends.

Rick strode over to his closet pulled out his favorite black suit, grabbed his wallet keys and phone off the bar and headed out the door.

At exactly seven on the dot, Rick was at her door with a beautiful Lilly arrangement in hand, he wiped his hands off on his Jacket and rang the door bell with a nervous smile on his face. He heard the click of heels, and anticipated seeing her, He heard the click of the knob and then nothing else. The sight of Kate took his breath away. She looked absolutely stunning.

He held out the bouquet, "For you, my lady. You look stunning." He said taking in the view of her in this glorious dress.

She took the bouquet and sat them in a vase she had sitting on her table and then took his arm and headed out the door. "You don't look too bad yourself Rick." She smiled.

They locked arms and headed towards the elevator, excited for how this night would end.

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><p><strong>REVIEWS! PLEASE!<strong>

**Tell me what you thought of the Alexis scene I was kind of weird on that one! Until tomorrow folks!**

**~Miranda**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N I AM SO SORRY! I have literally been going CRAZY! My computer broke and then my Microsoft office wouldn't work, and then my job got in the way, and babysitting, school, shew I have almost lost my mind! I sincerely ****apologize, and to hose of you who review I thank you! I am so sorry for this hiatus. **

**I just have to say, Always, was amazing. I laughed, I cried, my heart broke and then was repaired. It was a masterpiece, and can't wait until September! :)**

**Once again I apologize, but I am back and will HOPEFULLY get back to updating regularly! **

**Disclaimer: Castle is not mine! Darn -.- Johnny is though! :)**

**Here's a little flashback.**

_At exactly seven on the dot, Rick was at her door with a beautiful Lilly arrangement in hand, he wiped his hands off on his Jacket and rang the door bell with a nervous smile on his face. He heard the click of heels, and anticipated seeing her, He heard the click of the knob and then nothing else. The sight of Kate took his breath away. She looked absolutely stunning._

_He held out the bouquet, "For you, my lady. You look stunning." He said taking in the view of her in this glorious dress._

_She took the bouquet and sat them in a vase she had sitting on her table and then took his arm and headed out the door. "You don't look too bad yourself Rick." She smiled._

_They locked arms and headed towards the elevator, excited for how this night would end._

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><p>The lights outside the limo illuminated the New York streets, streets that she chases criminals down on everyday. Tonight, she could really take in some of the beauty they held.<p>

Rick had been a gentleman, held open her door, poured her some champagne, called her 'm'lady' (that she had laughed at, he was just so darn cute sometimes), and was currently pulling her out of her daydream by peppering kisses up her arm.

"Are you ever going to tell me where were going?" Kate tried last time to pull it out of him pulling out the big guns, biting her lip and looking through her lashes.

He almost caved. Almost. "Now, where's the fun in a surprise if I tell you?" he said with that 'no way are you pulling it out of me' grin.

She just glared at him, well attempted to glare, but she just couldn't wipe that stupid smile on her face. Se finally just gave up and settled herself into his side and waited out the ride.

She watched the lights of the city fade as they rode on farther out to the outskirts of NYC, soon they came up on this little, well what looked to be like a log house, it was huge and loud, but also, quiet and private all at once. As soon as she stepped out of the door the smell of something simply mouthwatering hit her nose.

"Something smells amazing." She said as she inhaled a huge whiff of the delicious aroma.

He smiled and said, "Welcome to _Sempre Bistro, _the BEST Italian food in the state of New York."

His smile was infectious as they walked arm and arm into the beautiful log structure.

"Ah, Mr. Castle, Ms. Beckett; your table is awaiting you. Johnny should be in there in just a moment" The attendee said as they walked in.

"Thank you Sean." Castle said as he easily guided Beckett to the back and through the purple velvet curtain.

"Johnny?" Beckett asked.

"The owner. College buddy." Castle smiled.

"Of course, you always know somebody" Beckett smirked.

He just smiled and stopped walking, watching as Kate finally took in the surroundings.

The room was gorgeous, every wall was purple velvet, the whole room was decorated in dark shades of purple. There was one table in the center of the small, but yet comfortable room, there was a breathtaking arrangement of flowers as the centerpiece, filled with all different roses and baby's breath. The roses were purple with white tips, and white with purple tips. The table had rose petals from both flowers perfectly scattered all around. The whole room was decorated in silver trimmings, she had to bite back her tears as she turned around to see Castle staring at her with all the love in the world shining in his eyes.

"This is amazing Rick." She kissed him lightly on the lips and they were just staring at each other until the sudden smell of something amazing hit there noses.

Castle turned to see his friend standing there with a tray of food in hand.

"Johnny! How you been you old geezer?"

Johnny handed the tray to the waiter standing over by the curtain, neither had even seen him standing there, and came over to shake Rick's hand with a grin as big as Rick's across his face."

"Well I'm the same age you are so if the shoe fits…" Johnny said with an eyebrow raised at Rick.

"I like him already" Kate laughed.

"You must be the lovely Kate that Ricky here has told me so much about," he leaned in and stage whispered, "if I didn't know any better, I'd say he has the hots for ya" he winked and she giggled.

"Well, can you blame me?" Rick said enthusiastically pulling Beckett in and landing a loud sloppy kiss on her cheeks.

"Calm down boy" Kate said laughing.

"You might have to throw him a treat" Johnny said amused.

"If he's a good boy I might"

"I'm standing right here ya know' Rick added

"Yeah, Yeah, but I am starving and this food looks about as delicious as it smells, and I'm sure it tastes even better." Kate said smiling at Johnny"

"Oh, you're too kind," Johnny smiled and turned to Rick, "she's a keeper Ricky boy, let me know if you guys need anything at all." Johnny said as he turned to exit,

"Aye, John," Rick hollered.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you, and yeah…she is" He said looking back at Kate.

Johnny left them with smiles on there faces and was so delighted that his buddy had finally done something right. She seemed like a good fit into his life.

"To us" Rick said holding up his champagne.

"To us" Kate smiled.

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><p><strong>Alright, I know it wasn't exactly a romance filled chapter but more of a filler. I hope you all liked it! Please review! They motivate the little writer monkeys in my head! :p But, seriously I want to know what you all think! :)<strong>

**And to all of you who liked my Caskett Fever page on Facebook, Thank You! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry ive been gone again, but things are finally going good for me, I finally got a laptop and I felt like writing again! :) This chapter is short but it's 1:30 AM and I'm about to fall asleep from exhaustion. Note the rating change to "M" Enjoy. **

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><p>Somewhere between the buzz from the champagne and the long lingering looks and kisses, the night had taken a passionate turn. Alexis had texted him just before the night had ended saying that she was going to just stay the night at her friend's house. They saw this as an opportunity.<p>

His hand fumbled with the key to the loft, mouths locked in a passionate kiss, finally, the door opened and they barely made it through the door before Kate found herself pressed up against it. He hiked first one leg around his waist, then the other, moving them through his study and into his bedroom. He all but threw her down on his bed, before she knew what was happening his pants and boxers were gone, her underwear was missing and he was in position, he looked at her for permission and was immediately thrown off guard at the look on her face, a look that was mixed with fear, lust, and some other dark thing lingering there.

"Kate! Kate what's wrong?" He said in a somewhat panicked state.

"We're about to do this…I can't, I can't do this, we just started dating…we just had a first date….I…I, I got to go. I have to get out of here, I mean Martha may show up and then does Alexis even know?! She, oh my gosh she probably thinks ive stolen her father…all the danger ive put you through…I cant, we cant. I have to go Rick."

"Kate, Kate what are you talking about? Alexis loves you! Martha loves you! _**I love you.**_ Don't leave, not now."

"Castle, I have to go, I need to think, I'll call you."

"KATE!" Castle practically cried out, he grabbed her arm and planted a firm kiss on her lips.

She pulled away with tears in her eyes with a whispered "I have to go, I am so sorry" as she walked out the door.

Castle didn't know what to say, or even what to do, he had just got her, what had he said? Did he push too fast? He sunk down on the floor against the door to his loft, the very same door he just had a very beautiful Detective against. He would go to her apartment first thing in the morning, give her the night to cool off. He couldn't afford to lose her now.

Beckett ran 4 of the 6 blocks between his loft and hers before her legs finally gave out and she sank down against the side of some shop, she sat there tears streaming down her face in sobs.

"_I can't do this to him and his family, I've already put his family in enough danger, I can't anymore. I can't be the reason Alexis has no one to come home to, I need to leave, I need to clear my head, I need __**him**__." _She thought to herself._ "But for now I will just stay out of his way, it's my job or him, I know what I need to do.." _

With that thought she wiped away her tears and have the address to her loft, she would take care of all of this in the morning, right now, she just need a few pain killers and some sleep.

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><p><strong>Don't shoot! *Hides* I should be able to update more regularly now though. I am sorry for all grammar mistakes, I checked over it quite a bit but im half asleep as well so, I hope its okay. Please review, I really want to know what you guys think.<strong>

**~Miranda :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**So, I got a PM or two about how the story took a sudden change in tone, that was the whole point, I think that that's how the story may play out in the show. They're completely happy and smitten with each other lost in their own little bubble until all the sudden Kate's like, "Oh my God, we're actually doing this and freaks out" So I hope that this chapter helps a little bit with understanding Kate's mind. It may be a little OOC but hey, this is fanfiction. :P I really hope you enjoy**

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><p>It was completely dark inside her loft. So quiet she could hear the trickling of the shower running in the apartment above her but she was too occupied to notice.<p>

Kate Beckett was sitting at her kitchen counter eyes locked onto her mother and fathers wedding album, she was stopped on the one of them kissing, sealing their love forever. Knowing that in just a few short years that love would be ripped apart, she couldn't imagine how broken her father was. All Kate could think about was what if that happened with her and Castle? She couldn't let him that far in, she can't have the possibility of giving away her whole heart just to have it ripped apart again; she couldn't imagine giving herself fully to someone again.

Kate Beckett had a secret that no one knew except for her Dad, about her lost lover, David Kern. He was the only person until Rick that Kate had ever told about her mother, she had been happy and completely in love with him and had almost not entered the academy, that is until that night on June 23rd when the unthinkable happened, he had wrecked, been hit by an oncoming freight truck. He was pronounced dead on the scene. Kate had spent the next week grieving and hating everything, she shut out her father, had ran to their cabin and hid. She decided there that she would never love anyone again. She had spent the week grieving for her lost love, and the loss of her mother, and then she had put on her poker face, bottled up her emotions, and entered the academy more determined than ever.

She spent most of the night much the same, allowing herself to grieve once more over two of the people she had loved most in her life. She finally cried herself to sleep; thankful that tomorrow started her weekend off. This is what she needed.

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><p>Richard Castle was nursing his 3rd cup of scotch when his daughter had called to wish him goodnight, that had sobered him up a little when she had reminded him that tomorrow she was all his. She had told him that she was leaving around 12 and to meet her for lunch at their favorite little deli over on 6th Street at 1. Had wished him a goodnight told him she loved him and had gone to bed. He still had no idea how he had gotten so lucky to have a daughter like her.<p>

He was typing but not on his newest novel, he was trying to straighten out his thoughts as to what to say to Beckett in the morning, he would be at her door by 8 and no later. He knew that this was her weekend off and would be home; at least he hoped that's where she had run to. He had tried her cell several times and had only gotten her voicemail; he sincerely hoped that she was okay. They would talk about everything in the morning; he was not letting her get away. He knows she has issues, and he is willing to help her work through every single one of them no matter how long it takes. This is the woman he loves; he will do anything to help her. He doesn't see tonight as an end, he sees it as an opening to a new truthful beginning.

With that last thought he turned off his laptop and his desk lamp and headed to bed.

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><p>The next morning Kate woke to a pounding and a very familiar voice screaming her name. She threw on her robe and went open her door, and was met with a forceful kiss planted on her lips.<p>

"Rick! What's wrong?" She said as she pulled away and took in his worried features.

"Kate, oh thank God Kate, you're here. Why haven't you been answering your phone? Or answering your door? Where have you been? It's 5 in the afternoon; we've all been worried sick about you. You should call the guys they're worried too. Where have you been? Have you been crying?" He said in a long rushed breath, relieved to see her alive.

"It's 5 o'clock?! I've been asleep all day?" Kate said somewhat in horror

"You've been asleep all day?" He said incredulously, then somewhat softer, "You're eyes are so swollen, did you cry yourself to sleep last night?" At the embarrassed look on her face, he knew he was right. "Oh, Kate." He pulled her closer and just held her close.

"Why don't you go take a hot bath and I will make you something to eat, I'm not going anywhere; I'll call the boys and Lanie. " With that Kate just nodded her head and headed towards her en suite bathroom, and Rick sent out a mass text to Alexis, Lanie and the boys letting them know that he was with her and that she was okay.

Rick went into her kitchen and got to work fixing some plain ol' mac and cheese, the ultimate comfort food, and waited for her to reappear.

She stood at the corner of the bathroom door and could see him moving about her kitchen and decided that she would tell him about David, she couldn't let her mother's case define her anymore, her mother would never want that, so she looked at him one last long moment and then headed to the bathroom, knowing this afternoon was going to be a new, better, beginning for her.

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><p><strong>Please Review! I really want to know if you guys like where this is going or if I should just give up writing and stick with music, (which is what I am going to school for) so please, please review, or send me a PM. Let me know what you thought of the backstory I gave Kate. Until next time.<strong>

**~Miranda :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**I am so completely sorry for how long it has been since I updated. I started college as a Vocal Music Ed major, and for those of you who don't know a lot about music. It is way more challenging than one would think. I'm getting into the hang of things now. It's not as rushed anymore. So I should be able to update a lot more now. Once again I am completely sorry for this crazy long hiatus. **

**All grammatical errors are mine.**

**Disclaimer: Castle is not mine! Darn -.- **

**Here's a little refresher from chapter 9.**

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><p><em>She stood at the corner of the bathroom door and could see him moving about her kitchen and decided that she would tell him about David, she couldn't let her mother's case define her anymore, her mother would never want that, so she looked at him one last long moment and then headed to the bathroom, knowing this afternoon was going to be a new, better, beginning for her.<em>

A hot bath is just what Kate had needed; it had opened her eyes and had made her feel more awake. She now felt calmer, and more prepared to tell her story.

Kate walked out of the bathroom and into the kitchen and the smell was amazing, he had made some kind of soup.

"What is that amazing smell? Is that soup? I have never smelt anything so amazing." Kate said on an inhale.

"Why yes, yes it is. It's one of mine and Alexis' concoctions, we call it 'Anything that's about to pass the expiration date soup' or ATATPTEDS for short." He said with smile that barely reached his eyes, reminding her of what he must have gone through today.

"Well, if it tastes as good as it smells then I am all for it" she said with a smile trying to get a bigger smile out of him.

"Well then, here's you a whole big heaping bowl full" He said as he sat down a big bowl full of soup and some bread for the both of them, as well as a glass of water.

They ate in a somewhat comfortable, but yet full of tension, silence. After they had finished eating they cleaned up the kitchen and moved into the living room with a glass of wine a piece.

"Rick.." she started out a little breathless...

"Kate" he said interrupting her, "you don't have to"

"I know, but I want to, there really is something that you need to know. It's nothing that I have been keeping from you. It's just something that I hadn't ever felt like sharing until now" She said trying not to let her voice break.

"Okay, whatever it is you need to tell me, tell me. I'm all ears, I'm here for you" he said earnestly.

"You already know about everything that happened with my mother, you know all about that night, but what you don't know, is what happened just about 2 months after my mother's murder. I was a shell of a person, just going through the day thinking about nothing that had to deal with emotions. All of my thoughts were so mundane. They were just like '_get up, get dressed, brush hair' _Simple things that. Then one day I was walking downtown carrying my papers from the library, when this guy ran into me making me drop everything. He immediately stopped and repeatedly apologized and picked up all of my things for me. Then when he handed me the papers, he looked into my eyes and something just…..clicked. His name was David Kern. He asked me for my number and called me later on in the day." She was on a roll, she was ready to let all of this out, she could feel the tears coming but she didn't care. "We dated through my first year at Stanford, and then during that summer, on June 23rd to be exact, he was on his way to work when a freight truck's brake went out and hit him head on." Her voice was barely there, she had tears streaming down her face.

"Oh, Kate." Castle's voice faltered and he too had tears in his eyes. He could tell she wasn't finished so he just held her and let her go on.

"For the funeral, I just sat there like a statue with tears streaming, I vaguely remember everyone trying to comfort me, but I was just lost in a daze. I kept thinking '_It has to be me, it has to be. I'm cursed. I'm damaged goods." _I spent the rest of that week grieving and hating everything and everybody. Then I entered the academy and cut off all ties to everybody. I didn't even start talking to my dad again until my second year at the 12th. It was a dark time. Then the other night with you, it just all came flooding back. How I have lost everything that I have ever loved. You, I can't lose you. You're too important to me to lose. I love you so much Rick." She finished with tears streaming hard and face. Barely choking out the last words.

Castle couldn't think of what to say so he just kissed her, they kissed hard and passionate, they could have kissed for minutes, hours, days and neither would have noticed. Finally after what seemed like years Castle softly pulled away, just enough to talk and said.

"Kate, you don't have to ever worry about losing me, I will keep myself safe as I can, as long as you do the same. We're not guaranteed a tomorrow, but if I have anything to say about it, I will be here as king as you want me, because Kate, you have been through so much. No person on this earth should have to go through what you have been through, I want to help you. Let me be your rock. Your solid ground. Your everything. That's all I want, is all of you." Castle had such emotion in his eyes, she could see his pure honesty, his love, his passion for her in his big blue eyes that shone with unshed tears.

"Rick, you already are, I'm yours. Completely yours. Always." Kate said as she molded his mouth onto his they laid there intertwined on her couch for hours, neither caring about anything else.

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was VERY mushy gushy. I should have the next chapter up soon! By the way you guys are enjoying this Caskett finally together stuff as much as I am right? It's like fanfiction come to life! :D That scene at the end of The Final Frontier, priceless. I laughed so hard. Well, please review and let me know what you thought of this chapter. :)<strong>

**~Miranda**


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